I am at a loss for words. Whenever I even think about writing this post it makes the tears begin. Sitting down and trying to explain how much I miss Timothy on his second birthday is a extremely hard.
That empty spot in my heart never really goes away. There are times that I feel like Timothy was a dream. A sweet little baby that I got to hold in an instant and then I woke up and he was gone. Could all of that been real? It is like the most vivid dream that I have ever had. I have moments when I feel like I have traveled back in time and I'm still there. I get lost in between this world of reality and dreams.
I love the life that God chose for me. I know that He is hard at work in my life. He is growing me, changing me, and molding me every day. Many times I feel like I would have chosen a different plan for myself but then I realize everything that I would have missed. It is the difficult moments in my life that I have been surrounded by wonderful friends and family. I have learned to be more thankful, more appreciative, and find more joy.
But...I miss him.
And so I walk in Faith...because I don't want to do it any other way.
