Can you guess??

Where we have been for the last week with our brand new 3 week old baby?

What? You mean I didn't even tell you I was going somewhere?

I guess that I have a little catching up to do!
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soon.

Mayla's birthday

(Some of you may have already read this story on my family blog, but I wanted to share Mayla's birthday with all of our wonderful friends that have loved Timothy and supported us throughout the last couple of years!)

A true dream. That is what I will remember when I think about my first moments with our new daughter. She is a beautiful blessing and our little rainbow...

But let me back up a bit and share how she came into our arms. First I have to say that I didn't think she was ever going to come. I never thought I would go into labor and I was sure that we were going to need an induction. So when I woke up at 1:30 in the morning with my first contraction I didn't think much about it. Back to bed I went.About 10 or 15 minutes later, there was another. Then another.

Finally I started to get a clue and decided to get up and take a bath. After being in the tub for about 30 minutes I realized that we might be going to the hospital soon. BUT the problem was that we didn't really have anything ready! So I quietly packed our bag, put together some clothes for our children, emptied our camera, got the video ready, and brought the car seat down.

By 3:00 am I felt that we needed to go to the hospital. So I woke up daddy-to-be. He really thought that how I woke him up was really funny. I woke him up at 3 am and he just looked at me for a minute. "What?" he asked. No response. "What??" he asked again. "Why would I be standing in front of you at 3:00 in the morning fully dressed?". Ding Ding Ding!!!! He jumps out of bed and dresses in record time...

Then he thought I was even funnier when he got to the bottom of the stairs to see bags packed and the car seat ready.

So about 3:30 my mom arrives and we decide to go to the hospital. By this time my contractions are still rather irregular between 5 and 8 minutes apart and only moderately painful but since I was at high risk for placenta abruption we decided it would be safer to be at the hospital then at home.

I was a little surprised when we arrived at the hospital at about 4:00 and were already 5 cm (by the time I'm a 5 I normally deliver within 1-2 hours)! By about 5:00 we had an epidural and I was 8 cm. We really wanted our very special Dr Shope to be our delivering doctor but unfortunately he wasn't on call. The on call Dr was wonderful. She agreed to wait until 6:00 am and call him to see if he would come and deliver for us! And as promised she made the call and he was on his way instantly.

I believe that he arrived at about 6:40 quickly ruptured my membranes and told me that we should deliver in the next little bit.

Have I ever told anyone how much I love epidurals? I love epidurals!!! They ROCK! ( And I know because I didn't have one with Kadin). The only reason that we were able to wait for our awesome Dr Shope was because of that wonderful epidural. In fact he said that without it we would have delivered over an hour earlier...crazy.

Anyway... he came back into the room and announced that we were about to have our daughter in our arms. The room was quiet and without the normal hustle and bustle of a quick birth. The bed wasn't taken apart, and everyone was extremely relaxed. Dr Shope sat at the edge of the bed and within a couple of pushes she had arrived. At 6:58 am our little Mayla Lynn took her first breath and let out her first cry. 8 pounds 2.5 ounces and 6 days early! I'm lucky we didn't go 5 days late like we did with her big brother.

My husband would be disappointed if I didn't share one last part of her birth story...As Dr Shope told me is was time to push, I quickly asked Kevin to hand me our camera. Without thinking or asking me why he just did as I asked. So the entire room was SHOCKED when, after my first push, as I saw her tiny head appear... I snapped my first picture of her. Both the nurse and doctor stopped what they were doing (in the middle of her birth...I might add), looked at me in awe and said they had NEVER in their entire career watched a mother that is PUSHING her baby out taking her own pictures. I just laughed and continued to take pictures as she arrived. I guess that's what happens when you have had 5 babies!

The first week

Today Mayla turned 1 week old. She is a great sleeper, likes to eat, loves to cuddle, and tolerates all the love and attention she receives from her proud brothers and sister all the time!

But today was a difficult Timothy day for me. It began at 5:30 this morning when Austin came into my room in tears saying that he misses Timothy. We cuddled together for a little while and talked about how Timothy is very happy, playing with his friends, and being loved by Jesus. Then He fell back to sleep and I proceeded to cry for quite awhile. I miss Timothy too. I should have 5 children climbing into my bed every morning cuddling with me. So today I spent much of my day celebrating Timothy's little sister and grieving his loss like I have too many times to count in the last year.

I have thought about him a lot these last couple of weeks. Between celebrating his birthday and returning to the hospital where I loved and lost him, I have had many ups and downs.

God has placed me on this roller coaster and asked me to trust him. To be honest I have struggled with trusting him lately. I trust that he has a plan for our family...I just haven't been able to trust that I was going to like that plan. For many reasons that we will never understand, he has taken more then one child from many families. That has been very scary for me.

The thing that I love most about this roller coaster is that I wouldn't change it. I wish Timothy was still with me, I miss him, I love him, but I would never change the fact that I had him. He is part of our lives and will continue live in our hearts forever. I am also deeply in love with his sister. I shouldn't have her in my life right now. But because of God's wonderful blessings and fulfilled promises I do.

Thank you God for taking such good care of our family and holding us in your hands as we have struggled and grieved. We ask that you continue holding us as we heal and learn to love and trust again. And give Timothy a kiss from his family that misses him dearly. Amen

just a taste

Hello! I'm so excited to share a little taste of what we have been doing the last couple of days. Mayla is VERY loved by her sister and brothers. In fact I think that they get more baby time then mommy and daddy! Thankfully I still get a bunch since I nurse but poor daddy...he is feeling a little left out!

I'm hoping to post more about her birthday and share more pictures soon but until I'm able to get a little more sleep at night this will have to do!