Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Happy 2nd Birthday

I am at a loss for words.  Whenever I even think about writing this post it makes the tears begin.  Sitting down and trying to explain how much I miss Timothy on his second birthday is a extremely hard. 

That empty spot in my heart never really goes away.  There are times that I feel like Timothy was a dream.  A sweet little baby that I got to hold in an instant and then I woke up and he was gone.  Could all of that been real?  It is like the most vivid dream that I have ever had.  I have moments when I feel like I have traveled back in time and I'm still there.  I get lost in between this world of reality and dreams.

I love the life that God chose for me.  I know that He is hard at work in my life.  He is growing me, changing me, and  molding me every day.  Many times I feel like I would have chosen a different plan for myself but then I realize everything that I would have missed.  It is the difficult moments in my life that I have been surrounded by wonderful friends and family.  I have learned to be more thankful, more appreciative, and find more joy. 

But...I miss him.  

And so I walk in Faith...because I don't want to do it any other way.


Jessica said...

I feel like I could have written this post. So many of the same emotions and feelings. I was surprised to find that Treyson's second birthday turned out to be harder on me then his first.
Praying for you at this very difficult time.

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday Timothy! What a beautiful post Jen! What a beautiful cake!

wendi said...

Love you dear friend. Just checked your blog and am crying. Alyssa has been gone for a year and the whole cannot be filled. Thankful for God's provision in orchestrating our friendship. Timothy is well loved. : )

izzy said...

Beautifully written.. May Timothy have a great blessed life over there.. Hugs<3

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