Monday, September 29, 2008

2 months

I don't know where to begin. My life has been very different lately. I find myself filled with joy at one moment then sorrow or frustration a split second later. At the beginning of this journey I made the decision to make this blog "real" but (at the same time) not write things that might hurt those around me. This week I have had some inner struggles with anger and frustration (mostly with God). Since I don't want to say anything that might be hurtful to anyone (including God) I will keep those thoughts private. But as soon as I am able to begin to understand my anger more I might try to share more about this stage of my grief.

My grief was definitely compounded by the loss of Dan. We spent the day Saturday at his memorial service. It was a wonderful service that lasted 3 hours. He was loved many. About 400 friends and family members came to spend this time together and celebrate his life. It was extremely hard to be there. I couldn't stay seated. It was good that we choose to sit at the back because I was up and down the entire time. It was exactly 8 weeks since Timothy's memorial service and stirred up a lot of emotion for me.

If you knew Dan and would like to sign his on line guest book click here. To see the wonderful slide show of Dan's life click here.

Sunday was 2 months since Timothy came into our lives. We miss him so much! Our friends and family have done a wonderful job surrounding us and helping us remember and celebrate these milestones. We were given chocolate, cards and flowers. Since our weekend was filled with activity we weren't able to visit Timothy yet. We are going to go spend some time with him this evening.

I guess that I should say that we weren't able to visit Timothy at Hillcrest this weekend. Austin and Emma decided to make a place here at home that we can visit him anytime we want (at least until it rained).

See Austin's drawing. Timothy in his box with the ground above him... then the grass ... then the marker on top. He did such a great job. Emma's gave Timothy big eyes, two legs, hair and a huge smile!


The Williams Five said...

I still pray for you and think of you daily. I can't even pretend to imagine all that you are feeling through all of this. Let me know how I can be here for you. I love you.

Nold Family said...

I love the drawings your children did. WHat a special way to remember Timothy! Best wishes, prayers and blessings as your journey continues.

The Finnestad Family said...

What a very full weekend for your family...full of those "blessing moments", as well as those incredibly difficult ones. You have done such a great job of capturing it all on your blog. Thank you for being real. We continue to pray for you guys & love you all so much!