Monday, September 15, 2008

What do you do

What do you do when your husband is in a different stage of grief then you. When he has different needs, desires and feelings. What can you do to keep him the important person in your life when you feel like there is little understanding. When you want to scream and yell and cry and cling in the same moment. When you are desperate to understand each other but lack the ability because all you see is your own grief. What do you do when your grief clouds your ability to understand your own husband?

You go for a drive and turn the music up as loud as you can. You get on your knees in prayer and ask God to give you a level of understanding. You sit quietly together and choose your words wisely. You leave a conversation unfinished for several days as you wait for the right words to express yourself. You realize that some things are beyond your control and forgive each other when lines are crossed. You tell him that you love him and that he is and always will be the most important person in your life.

Then, you go to your friends and tell then how hard this is and ask for them to lift your family up in prayer as you continue to grow and become the family God desires you to be.


Susie Merrell said...

We will definitely be praying for you. Will be praying that God comforts you and Kevin as you try to comfort and understand each other.

Stephanie said...

This friend is praying! It sounds to me that you have done the one thing you can do. Release it all to God, keep going and wait. Your strength is inspiring.

The Earnhardt Family said...

Ahhh...long drives with the music blaring, that's always helpful to me! It's funny how God can speak to you even when the music is as loud as can be. You'll forever be in our prayers (and know that we'd be happy to take your kids for you if you'd like a night out as a couple). Keep leaning on the One who can and will comfort and guide you both. He will ALWAYS listen and ALWAYS care and ALWAYS understand, "in all ways for always."

Wagner's said...

Will do double duty on our prayers for you, and we'd also be happy to take your kids if you need some connecting time as a couple.