Saturday, February 28, 2009

Leap year

February 29 will not happen again for another 3 years, but every time we skip it, and every time we celebrate it I will have a vivid memory. A memory of me sitting on my couch and looking at my caller ID, answering the phone, and feeling like my heart has just stopped.

If you have never heard the term FISH, you are blessed. If you have never received the results from the FISH test, you are blessed. If you have ever taken the call, received the results, heard the words... full Trisomy 18, you will remember that moment for the rest of your life.

4 comments:

Jennie Bender said...

May 8, 2006.

Marge said...

I remember leaning against the bathroom door and wailing....

Debbie said...

March 22, 2007 I remember answering it while driving home from work and trying not to crash amidst the tears. Trying to process how the dr keep saying "incompatible with life". Then arriving home to husband and 3children with a tear streaked face. A feeling that won't ever be forgotten.

Icantletitgo said...

Trisomy 21, diagnosed after birth.

Jan 23, 2009
I remember "almost always a fatal diagnosis" (Hydrops Fetalis) and "ok, let's check for a heartbeat...and there is no heart beat, the baby has died! We'll induce labor." Everything very factual and one right after another. I never had time to catch my breath. Wham Wham Wham!!! Like a baseball bat to the face.

Jan 24, 2009
And then I remember knowing my little Logan was ready to leave me. My body was doing it's job by delivering, and there wasn't a stinkin' thing I could do about it! I just wasn't ready. My heart shattered and part of my soul died.